maladaptive attachment to an inanimate object

a sign of mental illness vs. schizoid PD?

well 2805-s301, it has been a long ride; almost 5 years now.
we have been through many things together
crossed the atlantic together, got bad looks together from the TSA guys me for my unshaved face and you for you banged up body, missing screws, and suspiciously empty battery bay...
you have stayed up with me many nights, never getting bored or tired..
you have seen my secret words and thoughts, and tried to protect them, fought off the hackers bravely .
you have insights into my unconscious from inferences made from google searches...
tastes of my longings from wandering, lost in cyber space, searching.
And suffered from listening to my music..

You have broken down a few times, and I thought you were done, but you managed to rise from the dead again. I thought about replacing you a few times but I never did.

But now in the twilight of your years we have to move on, today I will go look for your replacement and you will get some well deserved rest.
thank you for all the pixels...
a song for you

So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

where have all the hawker hunters gone?

#2801 the last remaining lebanese "hawker hunter", (made in UK, circa 1950's)
IAF you have been warned...

miss you

hope you are doing all right
must be tough being alone and abandoned in your doggy old age
I heard you have lost your apettite
what did all the unconditional love get you? you must think

i call and check up on you, i ask them to say hello
and rub your belly

i hope you will hang on and be a good guest

hopefully we will meet one more time...
and you can eat all the chocolate you want

just wanted to remind you that you are not forgotten
thank you for being a great friend...

alienated alienist

today i realized something that depressed me even more,
technically i am currently a refugee
i am stuck in the land of the Cuyahoga
the land of the mindless zombies....

i have lost a little something that kept me going...
i always felt i can just say fuck this shit and leave,
go back home
but now, i have no where to go....except maybe another voluntary exile
physically and psychologically i am homeless and stateless
this must be how palestinians feel...
what if the natives decide to kick me out? I have to stay nice and polite...smile and nod...and hold doors open for people...
I cant go to lebanon now even if i wanted to now, maybe i can stay with kofi in NY...

being here now is surreal, people think you are a commie/anarchist if you try to explain why you don't go to drug rep dinners....
what if you try to explain about the downtrodden of this world, or the shame and humiliation of weakness and despair, or of people broken and destroyed and homes burned, and loves lost...you just might be a "T" word lover...

or maybe i can be happy here and they are right: eat , get fat, not worry, conform and consume, be a good zombie, read what oprah recommends to me in her book club, and marvel at how cheap things are at walmart...and tivo american idol

thank you hassan , thank you ehud for waging the proxy war for your masters and the petrodollar,
on the cheapest most disposable battlefield around, east of the Mediterranean,
The place i call home....